Love is in the air this Valentine’s season, and what better way to celebrate than by shining the spotlight on one of Nollywood’s most inspiring couples – Stan Nze and Blessing Jessica Obasi-Nze. Their love story is not just about romance; it’s about friendship, sacrifice, and building a life together that’s as beautiful as it is meaningful.
Stan Nze, the charming actor who won hearts in Rattlesnake: The Ahanna Story and ÁFÀMÉFÙNÀ, and Blessing Jessica Obasi-Nze, the talented actress and filmmaker behind hits like Elevator Baby and The Recipient, are more than just a power couple in Nollywood. They are partners in every sense of the word – sharing dreams, supporting each other’s goals, and creating a love that feels real and relatable.
What makes their story even more special is how open they are about their journey. Through their YouTube channel, The Nzes, they let us into their world, showing us that love isn’t always perfect, but it’s always worth fighting for. Whether they’re sharing funny moments, talking about the challenges of marriage, or giving advice to young couples, Stan and Blessing remind us that love is about choosing each other every single day.
This Valentine’s, we’re celebrating their love story, one filled with laughter, faith, and a whole lot of heart. From how they met to how they keep the spark alive, Stan and Blessing share their secrets to a happy marriage, their thoughts on love, and why they believe God is at the center of it all.
So, grab a cup of something warm, cozy up, and let’s dive into the beautiful world of Stan and Blessing Nze. Their story is a reminder that true love isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s about the little things, the sacrifices, and the joy of building a life with your best friend. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Blessing Jessica Obasi-Nze’s Biography
Blessing Jessica Obasi-Nze is a prominent Nigerian actress, filmmaker, and entrepreneur. Blessing is widely recognized in Nollywood for her versatility and compelling performances in various roles.
Her career in Nollywood took off with notable roles. She has appeared in over fifty films, with some of her notable works including Momiwa, Prophetess, Elevator Baby, Dirty Dirtier, The Recipient, Game of Chess, Castle and Castle, Mizbehavior, Different Strokes, and many others.
In addition to acting, She is also the CEO of D’Esparanza Media Production. Blessing’s movies have captivated audiences with their relatable storytelling, tackling real-life issues that resonate with families, couples, and society as a whole.
Stan Nze’s Biography
Stanley Ebuka Nzediegwu popularly known as Stan Nze was born on the 15th of May 1989 in Lagos, Nigeria. He is married to the very amiable Blessing Nze. Stan is a graduate of computer science from the Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka. He got acting and film training from the Stella Damasus Arts Foundation and Delyork Creative Academy respectively.
He started his acting career in 2009 with a minor role in a television series – Private Sector, and since then has been featured in several groundbreaking films and television series some of which are; Murder At Prime Suites, Not Married, Colourless, Split, Emela, Rattlesnake- The Ahanna Story, the 2020 Remake of Amaka Igwe’s classic which bagged him the award for “Best Actor” at the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards (AMVCA) in 2022 and “Best African Actor” at the Septimius in Amsterdam that same year and most recently, ÁFÀMÉFÙNÀ which got him a nomination for the best lead actor at the forthcoming AMVCA. He also featured in Nollywood’s 2024 highest-grossing movie, Everybody Loves Jenifa.
In addition to starring in movies and TV series, Stan has also worked as a producer on some movie projects. Some of these are; the award-winning Bad Drop, Colourless, Anita, Mute, Within the Shadow, Split, and Man Hunt.
Stan also runs a channel on YouTube with his wife “The Nzes” where they share their love story and also get marital insights from other couples with more experience. The show has served as a tool for stronger marital bonds in homes and a source of encouragement to plenty of singles across the world.
His Vision is to create impactful projects that would transform young individuals and in turn, change the face of Africa.
Gutsy Chat with Mr & Mrs Nze
1. What does love mean to you both, and how do you prioritize it in your relationship?
Mrs Nze: I think love for me is sacrifice and friendship and how I prioritize it in our marriage would be to make certain sacrifices. So for instance, if I wanted to decide on something I won’t just up and do what I want because it’s not only about me. There is somebody else and I have to sometimes meet you in the middle. For example, we were talking about furniture; I like a particular piece of furniture, and you like a different one. I’m like okay let’s meet in the middle, besides, it’s not that bad because at the end of the day it’s not about me it’s about us. Love is compromise and sacrifice.
Mr Nze: For me, love is beyond the physical, beyond butterflies in our bellies. And as much as it’s good to feel those butterflies, it’s good to feel those jitteries and those mushy moments, love is a decision to sacrifice, a decision to be in a person’s life regardless of how they feel or what they do. Love is more of giving than receiving. Love is agape, Love is God, God is love and is a foundation. It’s with that, that you can love people, genuinely be in their lives, and make them happy.
Whenever it is stormy in our marriage, I know that the person I always run to is God – the foundation. He is the love that sort of reminds us of where we started – in prayer. And it is in prayer that you connect the most to God. Whenever I feel we are burning out in the marriage, we go back on our knees and say, God, we need you, I’m no longer feeling the jitteries and the butterflies although it’s not about that.
2. How do you think the institution of marriage has evolved over the years, and what are your thoughts on its current state?
Mr Nze: From our parents’ time, marriage used to be such a beautiful thing. Everybody had to get married. But over the years, that has evolved, although it’s still a beautiful thing. There are lots of people who don’t believe in marriage and would rather do life being single forever. Now, we’re in the era of baby mama – it’s okay to have a baby and it’s fine, the society wouldn’t judge you. You can still be happy on your own. We’re in that era where divorce is the order of the day.
People are no longer making sacrifices, people are no longer taking in anything, and people are no longer making the effort to make sure that their marriages work. And it’s actually a cause for alarm because our parents’ marriages worked, so why are the marriages in this season or at this time not working? Is there something they knew that we don’t know? Is it because its the age of social media or is it a thing of being able to make excuses?
In our parents’ time, it was a very serious institution. When you go home to your parents, they’ll say “no you have to go back to your husband’s house.” So is it that the parents of this season are more welcoming or what’s the issue? But I honestly think that people are not sacrificing, people are not enduring. And this is not to say that when a man is hitting you or if there’s abuse you shouldn’t leave. What I’m saying is that we’re in an era where people leave their marriages because of flimsy things. Nobody is studying about marriage anymore. Nobody’s paying the price or making the sacrifice to stay married. That’s where we are now.
3. What was the most challenging societal expectation you faced when you decided to get married, and how did you overcome it?
Mrs Nze: We didn’t face any societal expectations because society was not aware of our marriage. We shocked the society. Well, what I can call challenges came after we had gotten married. It was when people started saying, “Oh, 32-year-old Stan married 42-year-old Blessing.” I think what worked was because we were already friends, we were whole, that wasn’t even an issue, instead we made jokes about them, really.
4. How do you and your spouse prioritize, and balance individual goals with shared family values, and how has your relationship impacted your personal growth and development?
Mr Nze: We have personal goals but we still have family goals. It’s not a walk in the park. There are times when it’s “everybody do your thing”. We realize there are points when it seems like everybody was sort of competing or everybody would do their own thing. But I have to also make decisions to be in your life as much as you’re in my life. Whatever you are doing, I want to be in the forefront and vice versa. We sort of made a deliberate effort to be supportive of each other. While we’re doing that, we’re still looking at our goals as a family and how we want to achieve things together.
Like I said it has not been the easiest thing. For marriage to work, most of the time, I would say that at every point in time someone is bearing the burden and vice versa. When partner A is bearing it this time, maybe next month the other party is bearing it. It might never be 50-50 but the most important thing is that you always find a middle ground and yeah you can talk about these issues, you can bring it to bear so that it can be evident, you can see your loopholes, you can retreat and make corrections wherever you have erred.
Mrs Nze: I agree with you and for me, our family values have helped me to become a better person because things that you would typically do or think is not a big deal or condone before being a family unit, you have to now consider that these are not part of our values as a family. When I’m doing things or when I’m acting (not acting film), but in my relationship with people, I’m conscious of the fact that hmm my husband wouldn’t be proud of me if he hears that I did that. Would he be embarrassed, would he be disappointed?
So I think for me all of those things have helped me to become a better version of myself, endure more, make excuses for people more, and not fight because my husband doesn’t like fights.
5. How do you navigate conflicts and disagreements in your relationship?
Mrs Nze: We fight clean.
Mr Nze: I used to be so much of a stonewall before we got married, and I know that from marriage class, some things came up, and I decided that I would be more of a conversationalist now. I’m open to having conversations, I try not to bottle things up, I try not to keep it, even when I feel my body is saying keep it, you don’t talk about it, I say no, this marriage for the long run and I want to be able to talk about any and everything without feeling like I’m doing too much. Which is usually not the thing I would do, but for the sake of marriage and for the things I’ve learned. So yes I try to talk about everything and anything, that’s one of the ways that we have been able to resolve conflicts.
6. What inspires you about each other, and how do you keep the spark alive?
Mr Nze: One of the things that inspires me about my wife is the fact that she’s such a giver. Whenever I think of people’s birthdays and appreciating people I remember my wife and how she goes all out to do that and that’s very inspiring.
Mrs Nze: What inspires me about you baby, my husband is a very peaceful man. He is so peaceful. I used to be like the fire fire person. Everything was hot hot, but every time I think about how he is very peaceful, it inspires me a lot. He is also very kind. How do we keep the spark? We go on dates, we play games, sometimes we deliberately take time out and go on getaways. That’s basically what we do. Sometimes we play ludo almost every night.
7. Do you think that there is a rising rate of divorce? What do you think contributes to the rising rate of divorce, and how can couples work to prevent it?
Mr Nze: Yes, of course. It’s evident there’s a rising rates rate of divorce not because I think about it but because I see it and I think even with social media, it is more pronounced. I’m sure maybe in our parents’ time if somebody leaves their husband, nobody might hear about it, it’s only the parents and the children that probably knows and it’s until maybe someone tells you. But in this era, everything is on social media. When couples are together, you know through social media, when they stop posting themselves, you probably know. However, that notwithstanding, I think it’s still on the rise because right now people are not paying the price.
For marriage to work, people have to sacrifice to make it work. People have to let go of themselves and make it more about the other person. I know that there are a couple of people that are still being violated by their husbands or by their wives, however that’s not the only reason people leave their marriages. My father will say “K’aza present.” We’ve been there, done that, onto the next. People slowly see it as changing clothes. I don’t think people have a vision in marriage – the husband and the wife. In the Bible, when God was going to make Abraham prosperous, he took him up to the mountain and said “as far as your eyes can see.”
I think there are lots of people entering marriages without a vision. They don’t see themselves getting old together, there’s room for checking out. I mean if you enter your marriage and you burn all your bridges and know that there’s no escape routes from here, you will do everything within your power to make sure that the marriage works. I think that’s one of the things that is lacking right now. It’s almost like “Any day wey e tire us, we go comot.”
8. How do you think your relationship embodies the principles of women’s empowerment and support?
Mrs Nze: Well, you support me, you empower me to be a better version of myself. Even when I’m giving up on something, I feel a certain way, or I feel less of me, you’re constantly there telling me how amazing I am and all of that. I think the best way to describe it is that you’re constantly speaking life into the seed of witness in me.
9. How can young women navigate societal pressure and expectations in terms of relationships and marriage, and how can they cultivate self-love and self-worth in the face of these expectations and pressures?
Mrs Nze: I always say, and this is something I tell ladies most of the time, that before you get into any relationship, it doesn’t matter what anybody is saying or the pressure. I don’t even think you should allow anybody’s pressure to get you. But yeah, life sometimes can get to you. I think loving yourself, you need to find yourself, you need to be whole. Because it’s only a wholesome person that can be the right partner. If you haven’t found yourself, if you’re not even a person of value, you’re just going to carry baggage and load onto that person and you would have so much expectation from the person. Infact, most of the time what ruins relationships is people having too much expectations. If you don’t work on yourself, I think whatever you do as a woman, whatever you do, the most important thing is to find yourself, love yourself, and work on yourself constantly to be a better version of yourself. Like my husband will always say, “You’re looking for Jay-Z, are you Beyonce?” So it’s very important to work on yourself and be a better version of yourself.
10. What advice would you offer to young women on what to prioritize when seeking a life partner, and how can they make informed decisions that align with their values, aspirations, and long-term happiness? (Mrs Nze)
Mrs Nze: The first thing is God God God. For me, that’s the first thing. The man has to know and love God and the next thing would be a kind man. Because you don’t want to be with an unkind person. And to make informed decisions, of course, you already know your values and once you find a man that’s not aligning with your values, there’s no need, don’t try to change anybody. You are not their mother or their father, don’t try to change you. Well, you can advise perhaps, just be friends while you’re praying and helping the person to be a better person. But for me, I think the best-informed decision will be taking it to God and asking that the Holy Spirit reveals and orders your steps to be sure that that person is even in alignment with the will of God for you.
11. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned about marriage and relationships throughout your journey?
Mr Nze: I’ve learned that it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. It’s not about today, it’s about the rest of your lives and it takes two people to tango. It’s a lot of sacrifice. There are times when your partner is down, and there are times when you will be down. But at every given time you also always have to brace yourself up and keep going because it’s not just about today it’s about the whole marriage. Jesus is the foundation and Jesus will make it worthwhile.
12. How do you think men can be better allies and supporters of women in relationships?
Mr Nze: First of all, there’s always a problem of maybe the woman is doing better than the man or your wife doing better than you. If we want to be truthful to ourselves, there’s always that pressure, especially for Igbo men. Men generally have egos, so they want to be the ones providing, they want to be the ones catering for the house, and they want to be the ones making the decisions. But you have to also realize as men that you are not your wife’s El-Shaddai. You can be down sometimes; it’s okay not to have the money, it’s okay not to make the right decisions, and it’s okay to make the wrong decisions.
But you have to be vulnerable, you have to be open to your wife, you have to be open to your partner because you’re not there as the all-in-all. You are there with a partner. It’s “two shall chase ten thousand,” so you have to admit that sometimes you can make mistakes. You might not have it all figured out and you’re not the all-in-all. Even women too can go and soar and do great things and help out in the home. So if you have that mentality, it will be easier for you to support the woman.
13. Do you think societal pressure to get married by a certain age contributes to unhealthy relationships or marriages? If so, how can we prioritize meaningful connections over expectations? Additionally, do you believe marriage is a universal milestone that everyone should strive for?
Mrs Nze: Well, yes I agree that societal pressure to get married at a certain age contributes to unhealthy relationships because sometimes some people are probably tired of being trolled at home or anything. They settle with anyone that comes along. Prioritizing meaningful connections over expectations will sometimes be the adverse effect of the first question. If a lady who is under that kind of pressure meets any man, the next thing is marriage as in marriage, desperate measures and all of that. Meanwhile, sometimes the person is not even there for marriage but it could be that kind of friendship or relationship that can even birth businesses or even some other things that would help the person fulfil their destiny not necessarily marriage.
So at the end of the day, I think that if you work on yourself and stand on your values – what you want and not being swayed unnecessarily. I believe that way you won’t have unnecessary expectations with every male connection.
Mr Nze: Marriage is also not a universal milestone that everyone should strive for. It should be a personal goal. I’m of the opinion that you should never get married rather than you get married and you come out after three months or one year or six months or two years or five. I mean be sure that it’s something you want to do. Be sure that you are ready for it, mentally ready and mentally mature enough to be in someone else’s life and check those boxes. I mean nobody’s perfect yeah and you don’t have it all figured out. But there are certain things you should know if you want it. You should be deliberate about it before going in.
14. What’s the secret to your successful marriage, and what advice would you give to young couples?
Mr & Mrs Nze: The secret of our marriage is God. God is at the very foundation and is the very pillar. However, you might hear me say it’s God and think that God will just come down from heaven to make things work – that’s not true. How you’ll know that it’s God is that God would lead you, God will guide you. He has given you a manual for marriage which is the Bible. You would read it daily and meditate on it day and night, get the juices and take the instructions that He’s telling you from there and put it to use. You will not be like the fertile land that good seeds were sowed into but was stolen at night.
Be that person that hears the word and runs with the word and puts it to good use. So even while you’re married, the Lord will always lead you to greener pastures. You’re married in the green pastures, so the Lord is going to be telling you what to do; this time, hold your wife, serve your husband food. Even when you’re upset, he’ll say don’t worry, go and apologise.
You’re not going to let social media teach you what to do, you’re not going to build your marriage from social media, and this advice is for young couples now. You’re not going to build your marriage on what Mr. A or Mr. B said. You’re going to listen to God and then find healthy relationships and healthy marriages that are working. Marriage mentors too. Instead of focusing on the ones that broke up last week, focus on the ones that have been there for 50 years, 25 years, 40 years and draw strength from that. Because what you constantly behold you become. A word is enough for the wise, thank you so much.